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How to turn doubts, fears and insecurities into success
Dealing with the Psychological issues of Unemployment—

The Six Attributes of Human Behavior, Part I

By Laura Dawn Lewis

Excerpt from Laid Off, Now What?!? The Recession Edition, publishing October 2009

Though this article is written specifically for those seeking employment or trying to advance their career, the tactics and information included are immensely useful to anyone who is possessed with the need to succeed. These tactics can be used to overcome a fear of public speaking, increase your ability to sell concepts, products or services and dramatically increase your success with members of the opposite sex.

LOS ANGELES, September 28, 2009: Ninety percent of what we say, we say without a word. Yet most of us have no idea what we are really telling those around us or how they see us. We don't understand why nothing seems to be working. As the frustration builds, anxiety moves to the forefront.  We withdraw and head for our caves. Each day that passes, we lose a little more hope.  Soon our apathy becomes self-fulfilling and the worst case scenario looms.

If you’re unemployed, under-employed or just trying to keep the job you’ve got, each day is a challenge to stay positive, focused and moving toward success. We all know the common mantras used to encourage success:  ‘Attitude is everything’, ‘Fake it ‘til you make it’, ‘never let them see you sweat’.  Fine and dandy, but how do you implement these things when you’re staring at a future that seems bleak and you’ve been run ragged by rejection, deferrals and no’s? Why’s are nice.  Psychology gives us lots of whys, but whys don’t get you employed.  How gets you employed.

How do you insure your body language, mannerisms and behaviors portray the image and message necessary to allow you to succeed now? You could spend years studying human behavior, language and social anthropology, or you could ask the experts at behavior and projection, the people who make their living from it every day, actors.  Problem is, you probably don’t have a Hollywood or Broadway actor stashed away in your circle of friends. That’s okay.  We’re about to fix that.

Actors make their living by creating characters through words and actions. The tools they use are posture, behavior, breathing, presentation, mindset, back-story and objective. We call it acting, but in essence it is simple mental and behavior alteration. For example, there are simple actions you can take to diffuse anger or depression.  Let us try one.

Are you feeling depressed, tired or stressed right now? Want a little boost of good feeling and optimism?  Here’s what you do.

Knocking out Depression

Stand up, legs apart facing front with your feet fully anchored.  Okay, now reach above your head, arms outstretched as far as they can in a ‘V’. Open your palms toward the sky. Now close your eyes. Tip your head back about 15 degrees and take ten deep long breaths. Do this for a minimum of thirty-seconds. Now sit down and take another deep breath. Feel lighter?  Refreshed? You should.  You just put nature and a common acting technique to work for you!

Depression is called depression because it pushes down on you.  Gravity pushes down, depressing you. Standing pushes up, elevating you.  By changing the gravitational pull and increasing the oxygen entering your body, you’re able to send a shock to the downward trend and temporarily elevate your mood. This is why evangelical services have a lot of standing and outstretched arms in their services.  The action promotes an immediate sense of well-being and forces your body and psyche to open up.  Energy increases with the increased oxygen and your mind rewards you with endorphins. You immediately feel better and you associate that better feeling with the environment. It’s a very powerful technique. Islam’s use of prayer rituals creates a similar sensation through its up and down, bending and mini-workout, though in Islam the movements are more about reminding the worshiper of his duty in subservience to God rather than elation of Him.  Movement of the body opens the mind to the message. Every behavior has a purpose and each behavior identifies with a specific character. The trick is identifying the behaviors that benefit you and your objectives while discarding those that do not.

The above is one simple little thing you can do to change your current state.  Anger will be addressed further down. The point is, there are ways to change your posture to immediately become inviting to people of the opposite sex or to take control of your situation should you find yourself in danger. There are stances, manners of sitting and conversing that immediately give credibility or take it away. Actors learn these tools, behaviors and techniques.  The good news is, you can too and start using them today to change your situation and supercharge your path to reemployment and success. Where do you go to learn them?  You go to the same person Hollywood’s A-list, CEO’s, NASA Rocket Scientists and NFL Hall of Famer’s consult: Thom Mc Fadden, also known as The Coach to the Stars.

Coaching Stars

Thom’s career spans several decades. As a character actor he’s worked alongside some of the greats including Sean Penn, Burt Lancaster and Robert Mitchum. To his credit he has over 100 film and television appearances. Around 1990 he expanded his professional repertoire to include life and character coaching of fellow actors including such household names as Fred Ward, Joe Penny, Ron Glass and Tim Mathieson.  As his coaching techniques became known, people from other industries began contracting him help them succeed. I first met Thom through a mutual friend and NLP[1] expert and we have been friends ever since. He’s been a phenomenal source of inspiration, motivation and positive energy throughout that time. 

In early September I approached him and asked if his techniques could help job-seekers increase their chances of getting a job and thwart the dual demons of depression and anxiety. At the time, Los Angeles boasted a 12.5% official unemployment rate. Most experts put it closer to 22% if you factor in people not on unemployment like small business owners and freelancers with those underemployed and working jobs below their skills and salary. To my surprise, Thom was way ahead of me and had been getting ready to contact me, knowing I was rewriting Laid Off Now What?!?.

In addition to actors, Thom's been coaching the business elite and teaching them the tricks of the trade, how to call upon character attributes when necessary to navigate tenuous, difficult or unsettling situations; how to use the six universal components of human behavior to succeed in love and business and cultivate an mindset of BOP:  Balanced, Observant and Present.  In fact, he usually greets people with a hearty “Heaven High” and ends each encounter with a thundering “Be BOP!” He calls his program ‘Acting for Real’.

Acting for Real isn't 'Fake it 'til you make it', although this is one tactic employed via emulation.  Rather it is a positive behavioral system that enables you to overcome fear, anxiety, worry and self-doubt.  The system eliminates what's holding you back while redirecting your life and career toward the goals and lifestyle you deserve. In essence, you become the star of your own life.  The more stressed our lives become, the more likely we are to fall into old patterns, many that work against us.  The only solution therefore is to replace these patterns with fresh behaviors and strategies that help us achieve our objectives.

Is change needed? Are you happy where you’re at now?  Do you want something better? 

You can keep doing what you’re doing and stay where you are, or you can change something.  What’s that definition of insanity again?

Insanity—"in⋅san⋅i⋅ty", noun: Doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

Let’s make some changes!

The psychology of Unemployment

Researching Laid Off, Now What, the Recession Edition I've had the occasion to interview dozens of job seekers.  Overwhelmingly, those unemployed more than two months display a sense of apathy, futility and frustration, though peppered with hope and possibility. Upon six months, the strain from the financial burdens coupled with the worry, anxiety and fear of losing everything seep out through actions, words, posture and attitude.  Usually the person I'm speaking with has no idea his or her nonverbal cues are telling a story he or she would prefer be kept hidden. What gives him or her away? Sometimes it is their breathing, heavier and longer than normal or a tightening of the voice pitching it slightly higher and peppered with strain. More often it’s the candidate’s posture that reveals the anxieties dwelling within. The reasons aren’t important. These tells contradict the intentions and purpose of the person, thus negating what he or she is saying. This contradiction creates a subtle cognitive dissonance.  In a job interview or social networking situation, mixed messages kill the opportunity.  The interviewer, sensing something isn’t right, disqualifies the candidate and prolonging his or her unemployment. The candidate walks away frustrated and befuddled, completely unaware it was his or her own actions that killed the opportunity.

Six Components of Human Behavior

Where do you start learning these skills? You start at the beginning.

There are six components to human behavior. Three are enlightened, meaning they enhance your life and character. Known as the essence of excellence, these three represent success, true success, the kind that embodies people with a joy for life.  These three are the components you want to nurture and cultivate.