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16 Tips for Dating
Successfully as a Single Parent. |
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As a single parent, you probably have
so little free time that dating seems an impossible task.
Yet, single parents are dating in unprecedented numbers,
so if you're looking for another "head of household" to
date, you'll find one. As a responsible parent, you'll
want to be very cautious about whom you date and
eventually bring home for the safety and well-being of
your child(ren). You may feel guilty or unsure about
whether dating is OK. |
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Of course it is, as long as you do it responsibly, and your
children are not disrupted by your dating.
Single parent dating involves finding a quality person you
like, who likes you, and who is comfortable with your
children. These extra dynamics can be frustrating, but should
not be ignored or overlooked. Pressuring your children to like
your date and going too fast for them to get comfortable with
the situation, will create unnecessary trouble. This article
presents some guidelines to help
you, your children and your new date be more comfortable, and
assure that things go smoothly.
If your children are small, they have a right to be primary in
your life. They should not have to compete with your new
relationship for your time, attention and affection. This
takes planning, because your schedule is already full.
TOPSafety/ Sensibility Issues
- Because today's society is very mobile, it's easy for people
who are not savory to hide their
backgrounds. Getting to know people as friends before dating
increases the safety of dating and
meeting new people.
- To maximize safety, choose group activities, daytime
activities with the children along, and
stay in public places until you establish your date's
character.
- Meeting other single parents at PTA, church, and school or
sports events is a great, non-threatening way to begin. The public setting provides safety,
a chance to get to know the other
person, and to find out what others think of him or her.
- Meeting his or her children or other
family members will quickly reveal their values and attitudes.
- When your children meet another parent, an adult friend, or a
church or temple member
rather than a date, it's much less threatening to them. There
is less pressure on everyone. TOP
Rules for Everyone
Children aren't the only ones who need rules to follow. If the
adults involved (you, your
date, your ex, grandparents, friends) do the right thing
automatically, they are following their
own internal rules, but if their behavior is not suitable for
you and your children, you need to
inform them of your rules.
Setting and keeping rules may sound like a drag, but sensible
and reasonable guidelines can
help a lot. When everyone knows what is expected of them, they
will feel respected and secure. TOP
The 16 Steps:
Parental Dating Guidelines
- Make sure you know a lot about any new person before
inviting him/her into your home.
- Make friends before considering a romantic relationship
- Always introduce new adults to your children as friends,
nothing more.
- If your children are old enough to have opinions of your new
friends, listen to what they
have to say.
- Do not pressure your children to like your new friend, or to
spend time with him or her.
- Insist that your children behave appropriately and politely
to your adult friends.
- Have regular family discussions with your children.
- If you want to get serious with a date, find out his or her
feelings about children,
especially your children, first.
- Gradually introduce a new date to your children by doing
family oriented activities
together.
- Give your children and your date a chance to develop
their own relationships.
- Don't sacrifice your children's alone time with you to your
dating.
- Don't miss sport or
school events in order to date.
- Don't share inappropriately with your children.
- Do not use
them as "confidantes" for your relationship
confusion or problems.
- Don't allow them to find out about your sexual
relationship.
- Do Relax & Have a Good Time!
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Need
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300 Great Dates for low
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