Dating Advice, Skills and Tools For Adults

 
 

February 2003

Divorced & Not Ready to Date,
Is There Something
Wrong with Me?

 

Dear Couples Company:

I have been married for 15 1/2 years before we separated a year and a half ago. It was a very volatile marriage in which he was verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive to me and our two children; and towards the end of our relationship, he was physically abusive to our eldest son.

 

It can be frightening getting back into the scene, especially if you can't tell which of your fears are real and which are imagined.

 

PRINT

I had him arrested and he was found guilty of assault to me at our split. Our divorce is in its final stage and I have my whole life ahead of me.

I have taken the last year and a half to try and let the wounds heal and get myself back on track so to speak, so I can be happy with who I am. But when I get pressured by some friends that I need to date and that "everyone needs someone in their lives", I cringe. I am terrified when it comes to the idea of dating and going through that again. How long should I give myself or what should I do to help get over this impasse?

I am 36 now and see this as a second chance to do things over and take control over my own life and destiny, something that I missed out on the first time. I married just short of my 19th birthday. Should I find a counselor to help me over this hurdle or should I just give it more time?

It's difficult enough to find a companion this age anyways...but I also have teenage boys making it even more difficult. Everyone seems to think that I automatically have men lined up around the block, but I don't and even worse am scared at the thought to start with. What should I do?                See Couples Company's Response

Unsure
(F) 36
Greensboro, North Carolina


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