Have you ever had a supervisor who was fond of criticizing your work in front of other employees? How about a manager who thinks nothing of waiting until the last minute to ask you to develop lengthy proposals? Many of us may grumble to coworkers about our managers but hesitate to confront the manager for fear of generating bad blood. The result: The managers continue to aggravate those around them, and their staff continues to grumble.

It doesn't have to be that way. There are ways to call bad behavior to the attention of your supervisor without ruining the relationship.

First, root out any guilty feelings you may have by realizing that the supervisor who yells at you is the unreasonable one. You don't deserve that kind of treatment, and you have a right to ask your supervisor to change his or her behavior.

Next, talk to your manager.

Mark Goulston, MD, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA who specializes in business relationships, says the way to avoid feeling intimidated is to level the playing field. In other words, don't come across as a victim. "Tie your complaint to how it interferes with your productivity or your ability to get results for the company," he suggests.

Body language can help. Let them know that you're on to them without verbalizing it. "Before you talk to them, steel yourself," says Goulston. "Then go in and look your manager in the eye. With your eyes say: 'I know you're a jerk and you know you're a jerk, but we're going to have this discussion."  TOP

Another approach is to flatter them. Since many ornery people feel unappreciated by the world, this tactic can work wonders. For instance, you might say to the first supervisor above, "You're an important person in this company. Your productivity means a lot to the company, especially to executive management. If I can be more effective in helping you, then my efforts will get noticed too. However, in your eagerness to get work done, you tend to criticize me in front of other people. When you do that, my productivity goes down."

Despite such diplomacy, your supervisor could still retaliate by withholding a raise or promotion. "Think about how she [or he] might retaliate. In some cases it's not worth confronting the supervisor," advises Goulston. "You might be better off transferring to a different position under a different manager, even if it's not a lateral move. If you have to make a slightly downward shift, you can work your way back up under a better manager."

Judy Artunian is a freelance writer based in Newport Beach, California. She specializes in lifestyle and high-technology issues.

From Women as Managers, Issue No. 273 (June 21, 1999).  Copyright © 1999
The Economics Press Inc. Fairfield, NJ 07004 USA. All rights reserved.