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March 2004
How can I
be charming?
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I've hooked up with a female friend twice in the last
2 years, only kissing, and no sex. She always backs
out of relationship possibilities. She considers me a
""friend"" or a ""brother,"" but not a lover. She said
how romantic I am and kind and caring, but.....she has
told me, over 2 years, what she wants in a guy and I
meet every one. |
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She considers me a
""friend"" or a ""brother,"" but not a lover. |
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She occasionally dates and seems to go for guys who charm her
or jerks. When she has a crisis, she calls me instead of her
boyfriend. She's not dating anyone right now and is friendlier
towards me, but keeps assuring me that I'm only a friend.
She's the closest thing to perfect that I've ever found. Can't
I just take this to next level? How should I approach this
without taking advantage of her?"
Jack (M) 33
Santa Fe, NM
You can be a "nice" guy and still finish first. In fact, most
of them do. But, as you mentioned, you still need an edge. You
still need to be exciting or do things that will attract her
to you. Many charmers on the scene are in fact
pseudo-charmers. They say and do charming things not because
they really mean it, but because they are simply interested in
manipulating.
If you truly find these lady to be attractive, special, kind,
loving, etc. then tell her. Tell her not only in words, but in
poem, song, dance or any other way that you allow the words to
speak through you. When a woman is flattered in this way, the
chemical reaction in her body changes and she will have
different feelings for you (assuming she really does like
you).
Now, there might be something else that is stopping your
friend from developing a more intimate relationship with you.
She might just be prejudiced by the way your look or the
amount of money you have. Some people simply can't get over
that fault they have.
It sounds like you will make some lady very happy some day. It
just might not be this one.
Help
us help Jack charm Jill!
Tell
us what Charming means to you and Couples Company will
post your responses in May!
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