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In-Law Invasion, Romance Woes:  Help!

Dear Michael:
 

We've just had our first child and the in-laws are here for the next 4 weeks (seems like eternity to me).  Between the baby and the in-laws, my husband and I are feeling alienated from each other and I really miss feeling like a woman instead of a mother.  


How do I get the
romance back?

Is there anything we can do to still feel the romance in our relationship daily hanging on to a newborn with one hand and arguing with the in-laws about parenting with the other? Help!

In-law Insanity with Baby Blues,
Female (31) Victoria, BC, Canada.

Dear In-law Insanity with Baby Blues:

First, do you want the in-laws there for that long? If not, in a polite way let them know that the stress of extra people in the house for such a long period is just too much. What is more important: your relationship with your husband or your in-laws? If their feelings get hurt, too bad! You can't really please and serve others if you are miserable yourself.

Now, about that womanly feeling you want to get back. Let's not be too selfish here. You decided to bring a baby into the world so you have some motherly obligations. Sure, you can shirk your motherly responsibilities like a lot of mothers do and have someone else raise your kids.

When a woman decides to get married she should expect to feel like a wife. When she elects to have children, she would expect (and hopefully desire) to feel like a mom. Be proud of the role that God has allowed you to have. I believe that women who are the best mothers are the most attractive women. That love and devotion to family is just so appealing.

Now, that doesn't mean you still can't feel "womanly" as well. Find an extra 15 minutes each morning to "pretty" yourself up by fixing your hair or putting on a little make up. Get dressed for the day.

To keep the romance there leave each other love notes on your bathroom mirror with dry erase markers. Call each other in the middle of the day just to say hello. Hold hands while the baby is nursing. It's the little things that bring the most romance to a relationship.

There are hundreds of tips in my best-selling book, The Romantic's Guide.  

Good Luck,

Michael Webb
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