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What
can you do when one parent is intractable and vitriolic? What
can you do when the child becomes caught up in the fight and
starts taking sides? To begin with you need to understand the
dynamics of Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS.
PAS
abuse is manipulation by one parent used to turn the child
against the other parent.
Neglect or abuse by the parent being alienated (made
out as the villain) does not exist. When emotional,
physical or sexual abuse exists, the child’s anger is
justified. Justified anger is not PAS.
Likewise PAS does not exist if the child enjoys a positive
relationship with both parents despite the fact one parent is
attempting to alienate the child from the other. The
determining factor of PAS is the child’s part, his or her
reaction and behavior to the situation.
Understanding gives you the ability to see the scope of the
situation and what you are up against. Once you know what is
causing the problem, you can begin to solve it.
TOP
What is PAS?
Gardner's definition of PAS is:
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q
The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a disorder
that arises primarily in the context of child-custody
disputes.
q
Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of
denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no
justification.
q
It results from the combination of a programming
(brainwashing) of a parent's indoctrinations and the
child's own contributions to the vilification of the
targeted parent.
Excerpted from: Gardner, R.A. (1998). The Parental
Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition, Cresskill, NJ:
Creative Therapeutics, Inc.
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Translation: Gardner is saying is that in the course of the
animosity that arises between divorcing spouses over the
children, one parent can inadvertently or purposely begin
conditioning the children against the other parent. At the
same time the children, dealing with their own anger, hurt and
insecurities amplify their own feelings and begin directing
them at the targeted parent. This state of confusion creates
the perfect atmosphere for manipulation.
NEXT Page:
What is the child's part in
PAS?
To learn more about manipulation, read:
How to Avoid
becoming a victim of Emotional Blackmail
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