|
Explanation: While doing the
research for Love
Tactics System™, I found that one of the greatest
tools to help you win someone’s heart was the ability to make
them feel so understood that they almost feel like you’re
reading their mind. As one woman explained it, what she had
come to realize was that most people want someone who have the
ability to read them “like a book”!
That being so, how is it possible for
us mere mortals to ever read someone’s mind? Does mental
telepathy really exist? The answer is, more so than you may
have ever realized!
In the movie The Wizard of Oz
(MGM, 1939) when Dorothy first meets the
flim-flam Professor Marvel while running away from home, he
exercises some of his humbuggery skills to convince her that
he has supernatural abilities to read minds. “Professor
Marvel never guesses…” he says, “He knows!!”
At one point in their exchange, Dorothy
says in amazement, “Why it’s just like you could read what was
inside of me!”
From a more objective basis, though, it
is clear to the audience (if they’ve been paying attention at
all) that Professor Marvel is not doing anything supernatural
at all. He is just being very sensitive to the unconscious
cues that Dorothy herself has been giving him in the nodding
or shaking of her head, as well as her overall demeanor. But
it doesn’t matter HOW he is reading her, the fact is that he
IS reading her. With a little practice each of us can produce
the same effect in the people with whom we interact.
TOP
This is because every human being we
meet exudes oodles of information about what’s going on inside
of them, if we just pay attention. The best way in the world
to make a person feel understood is to utilize the skill of
reflective listening when in conversation with them.
What this consists of, briefly, is
learning to summarize the sense of what a person is trying to
say whenever they are speaking to you. After respectfully
paying attention, when it is your turn to respond, you simply
attempt to sum up in a crystallized fashion what it is you
THINK that they’re trying to say and ask them for a
verification of whether you’re clearly getting their sense or
not.
“So, what it sounds to me like you’re
saying is…(then share with them your best encapsulation of
what you think they’ve been trying to say). Am I getting it
all?”
TOP
As you do this, something truly magic
happens. A feeling of being understood and validated sweeps
over the person you are tending to like they have never
experienced before. And people experience the illusion that
you are almost actually reading their thoughts! Whether they
realize it or not, that is the beginning of them falling in
love with you, as well.
I cannot tell you the number of people
who, when I have implemented this tool of empathy in my
relationship with them, have said in amazement, “I can’t
believe I’m telling you these things… How are you getting me
to talk about this… How is it you understand me so well…?”
The fact is, people will begin to see
you as a godlike figure in their life and will feel drawn to
you in a way that defies normal human experience.
Psychotherapists often use the reflective listening technique
in their work and have also observed the bonding experience
that results, known in professional circles as the phenomenon
of “transference”, falling in love with the therapist.
Use this method to bless the lives of
those you interact with, though, you will be in a position to
strengthen their love for you, even as you show them love and
provide them the most valuable gift of validation in this way.
NEXT
|
BACK
Page:
1 | 2
| 3 |
Return to Dating
|
