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In all your friendliness with the One
You Want, remember to maintain some mystery, some
intrigue. Too much familiarity does indeed breed contempt.
So, if you want to set the stage to be loved and revered
during your developing romance, don’t reveal too much about
yourself too soon. Remember, Superman was mysterious, having
a completely unknown side to him that was unknowable, even to
Lois!
I’ll never forget the discussion I had with one young woman
many years ago who argued with me that all she wanted from a
man was emotional intimacy. “Too much, too soon,” I warned,
“only makes one start looking for the emergency exits”. Of
course my words were largely ignored. However, within a
matter of weeks, a new suitor arrived on the scene who seemed
to have all the qualities she had been looking for. I
especially noted that he was especially open about his
feelings with her.
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When I finally had a moment with her alone where she could
speak frankly, I asked her how things were going. “Frankly,”
she said, “he’s scaring me to death with all his plans for
us!” And then she added, “I think I’m going to have to end
this…”
The conclusion of all this was that she broke his heart, but
the lesson was learned: When cultivating a love relationship,
don’t be too anxious to spill the beans about everything
you’re thinking. Don’t reveal every amorous thought that
crosses your mind. The common phrase used in prior
generations was, “Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve!”
It’ll knock you off your pedestal if you do!
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Maintain some mystery about yourself. While it may feel good
to expose your innermost feelings to someone you’re attracted
to, it will only sabotage your efforts to win their heart. By
retaining some modicum of discretion in your conversation and
behavior, you will be able to command greater respect and
admiration in your quest to be loved as the “god” they hope to
marry.
4)
Be Positive
If you would like the One You Want to trust
and believe in you, it is necessary to give them sufficient
reason for their willingness to do so. Therefore, let your
conversation always reflect optimism and offer hope. This may
not be an easy thing to do if you’ve allowed yourself to fall
into the bad habit of negative thinking, but take heart!
Habits can be changed! It simply requires some awareness of
the problem, and a decision to think more positively. There
are plenty of positive-thinking resources these days, and
anyone can avail themselves of them if they really wish to do
so.
All of us have had the unfortunate experience at sometime in
our lives of finding ourselves in the presence of whiners.
Though we may compassionately want to comfort that person, it
doesn’t take long until we begin to discern within ourselves
the unmistakable desire to avoid being around them. The rule
is: we are drawn towards those who are positive and who exude
hope. We are repulsed by those who are downers. The
conclusion is easy, then. If we wish to be admired and sought
after, we must practice being happy and positive! As I
consider back in my own life the people who have most touched
me and impressed me, it is invariably those with big smiles
and positive attitudes.
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President Reagan used to love to tell the story about two
brothers who woke up Christmas morning to very different
gifts. The one who received a new pony complained that it
wasn’t fast enough, pretty enough, gentle enough, and so
forth. But the other one who thought his only gift was the
pile of manure the pony had left behind, was found playing and
having a grand old time in the mess that had been left
behind! While not the most realistic story, it does
illustrate the very real truth that being positive is an
attitude. It’s not what life gives you that matters – it’s
how you take what life gives!
Begin today to determine that you are going to choose a more
positive outlook on life. There is a silver lining to every
cloud, you must begin practicing finding it. Learn to make
lemonades out of the lemons you are handed. In the Disney
classic, “Pollyanna”, a young girl teaches an entire town the
“glad game”, where you always look for something good to come
out of each situation. This is a divine trait, and will help
bring you the love and admiration we all so much seek in our
lives, and which is essential in a truly romantic love
relationship!
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5) Be a Friend
The last trait of godliness that we would
like to mention today is the importance of being a BENIGN god,
never a MALIGNANT god, to those with whom you relate. In the
final analysis, you want to be LOVED, not merely FEARED
(though it is important to be respected.) This means that you
must learn to be a true friend to others.
Be unselfish. Be considerate. Have their happiness and best
interests at heart. Never judge or condemn. Avoid criticism
as you would the plague. Offer compassion. Show sympathy.
Don’t hesitate to be the first to reach out to the other, to
give them a little attention, and to compassionately listen to
the things they say. Avoid criticism and judgment, always.
So long as the One You Want is acting respectfully towards
you, never hesitate to leave them with a good feeling about
having been in your presence. In making it your practice to
be a true friend, you will inspire love and reverence whenever
your name is spoken by the One You Want. In so doing, you
will make it easy for them to think dreamily of how wonderful
their life would be with you at their side!
Conclusion:
Go ahead! Make yourself into a god or goddess in
his or her eyes! It’s not as hard as you might think. With a
little practice you can meet the One You Want’s need to
embrace perfection in the person of their dreams. You can be
that person. Just remember: appear invincible, read their
mind, maintain some emotional distance, be positive, and be a
friend. These five keys will go a long way towards making
your life a heaven on earth for both you and the One You
Want!
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