Why an
Unselfish Attitude
is a
Prerequisite
for a True Romantic
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Have you ever wished someone could write a prescription
for your ailing relationship or marriage, one that would
inject it with enough happiness for the two of you?
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The
selfless: mark of a true Romantic |
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Maybe you've read numerous
books, periodicals and manuals, hoping to find the magic potion.
Maybe you've gone to therapists, clergy or counselors for answers
only to leave feeling discouraged and ready to give up. There is
good news. A prescription exists that will make your
relationship or marriage romantic again. It is quite
simple and you can begin taking it right now. The medicine
is selflessness. The dosage: Take one healthy cup of
an unselfish attitude in the morning and a second at night
before bed until the symptoms of negative romance disappear. You
are thinking too simple, right? Bear me out and lets analyze the
ingredients that make up this virtual elixir.
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Typically
when the term unselfish is used to describe someone you think of
a genuinely warm, thoughtful person. This is a person who looks for opportunities
to express love. An unselfish person knows actions speak
louder than words and an unselfish attitude can only be
demonstrated in acts of kindness, not talked or thought about.
That's why an unselfish person always stands out in a crowd,
while a selfish individual is merely part of the crowd.
I recall a
story told to me by a friend that beautifully illustrates an
unselfish attitude. My friend said his father passed away
shortly before his fifth birthday. When he turned eight, his
mother remarried. Suddenly he found himself living with a
stepfather.
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Understandably my friend felt frightened. What could he
expect from a stepfather? Would he love him, provide for
him, protect him and treat him as his own? Could he in
turn love and accept
this new man as a father. Would his mother love and
respect him as a husband?
The answers became clear in days.
Each
evening, my friend's stepfather bought a single rose for his new
wife and a treat for my friend and his sister at the local
Seven-Eleven. My friend's stepfather took his new family to
brunch on Saturdays, to church on Sundays and to brunch
afterwards. My friend said his stepfather often held his
mother's hand, caressed her cheek and showered her with love.
This new father made little offers of attention even while reading or watching TV together.
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His stepfather regularly surprised his new family by
taking them to the zoo, a movie or even the local Dairy Queen.
This man made an annual practice of taking his new
wife and family on vacations to places like Disney World, the
Gulf of Mexico, Cancun and Jamaica.
My friend
fondly remembers his stepfather teaching him to ride a
bike, to fly a kite, how hit a baseball, and make a yo-yo do
incredible things. Through this man his sister learned how to square
dance, polka and waltz. Here was a man who
could have chosen to spend his time with his new wife
and ignore his step children, but he unselfishly gave of his time
and energy to children that were not his own and that he never
adopted. In the end, this man was not only a loving
husband, he became the father, mentor, friend and role
model every young boy needs. Through his selflessness this
man proved himself a true romantic worthy of love and loveable.
TOP
Most people
consider themselves romantic even though millions of hearts are
broken each year. In fact, you are probably familiar with
someone who thinks of themselves as romantic. These are the
people who use romance to get what they want or to "conquer" the
other person. When they succeed they lose interest and move on
in search of another "victim" or another "conquest."
A romantic is not someone
who uses niceties to manipulate and coerce. He or she does
not use gifts to buy affection. A true romantic is a spendthrift who is
always in the red. Not in terms of financial accounts, but in
thoughtful deeds and acts of kindness. An unselfish person
demonstrates his or her love and respect in tangible way and
elicit love and esteem in return. That's how an unselfish
attitude transforms an ordinary person into a true romantic.
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