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Dear Politics,
It sounds like you’re in what seems like a “no win”
situation, but there may be a way out of it. As soon as you
start listening to people talking badly about other people,
they’ll begin to assume that you’re agreeing with them even
if you say nothing. And if you start to say something to
criticize them, they’re likely to tease you or get upset
with you.
Here’s what I’d suggest. Make a list of all the people who
tend to get into those conversations. Then make a time to
sit down with each of them alone telling him or her that you
liked to ask them a favor. Tell each of them that you came from a
family or went to a school (it’s a white lie that’s okay
since it’s not going to hurt anyone) where everyone seemed
to want you to agree with them and disagree with someone
else and how it made it impossible for you to do what you
had to do.
Then say to each person: “You have a
right to think and say whatever you want to whoever you
want. However since I find it too distracting to listen to
any of those conversations, I hope you’ll understand it when
I excuse myself and go back to my work as soon as those
conversations begin. I’m not trying to be rude or
unfriendly; I just need to do what I need to in order to be
able to do my work.” Hopefully, each of them will understand
enough and agree to it during those one-on-one conversations so
that when you pick yourself and excuse yourself during one of
those times when they start talking badly about other people,
you can just leave. After you’re gone, even if someone makes
fun of you, the other people you talked to will probably keep it
from going much further.
Good luck.
Dr. Mark |
