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A national sales manager meets with her people to discuss
quarterly results, but she continually “wanders” as she speaks.
A vice-president of public affairs explains an important
media project in corporate jargon to the team that will develop
it.
Three members of a well-to-do family -- a husband, wife and
teen-age son -- are not able to clearly articulate the personal
conflicts eroding their relationship.
All of these statements describe
situations I’ve been a part of as either a communication
consultant, an observer -- or a good friend. And as you might
guess, all were extremely costly to the people involved.
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The financial advisor lost a
multi-million dollar account and suffered a severe blow to both
his ego and his reputation.
The sales manager had to find
new employment because she couldn’t seem to give her people
clear direction.
The vice-president fell into
disfavor over this project and other communication errors and
was eventually demoted.
And the family? Sadly, it
disintegrated over a period of several years.
Though painful, humiliating, and
sometimes even devastating, when you get right down to it, these
are all a result of simple miscommunications -- the kind we’re
all guilty of.
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Complicated?
Communicating verbally is not
rocket-science. It’s a simple matter of focusing your
message – that is thinking out clearly what you want to
communicate and sticking to the point; getting the
listener’s attention, or in other words making sure the
person you’re speaking to is clearly focused on you;
speaking clearly and simply with a minimum of jargon
or hard to understand words; and finally structuring what
you say in a logical, easy to follow order. Then of course,
there is the other side of the coin – listening carefully
and openly to what you’re being told. Simple stuff,
right? Absolutely. Available on the bookstore shelves? In
abundance. So why then do we continually suffer the types of
problems mentioned in this article? Because the real problem is
not an inability to gain information, it’s an unwillingness to
take communication seriously.
We simply don’t pay attention to verbal communication.
Damaging Assumptions
We assume that speaking is a “no
brainer” – a matter of letting the words roll off our tongues
with no regard for how they’re being perceived. We assume that
good communication is instinctive, therefore we don’t need to
think about what we say or how we say it. And we
often assume that the people we speak to are “telepathic” enough
to follow our train of thought -- no matter how wide, far or
often it may meander. And listening? How often do we manage to
listen without trying to get our two cents in or allowing
distractions to cloud our perception?
Sound
familiar? If so, take heed. Verbal communication can become a
dangerous element if it’s not respected as a powerful force
that literally drives all aspects of our lives.
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Consider Your Priorities (and blessings)
Regardless of my situation, I
never take communication for granted. I consider clarity of
word and thought one of the most profound gifts we receive as
human beings. I regard the words I speak and listen to, as the
one indisputable separator of man from all other life forms on
the planet. And I place great value on my ability to reason in
complex ways, perceive subtle meanings, visualize what I’m
hearing and saying, and deduce new ideas from the words I take
in.
Most of all, I remain
continually aware that all of these attributes are based on one
important quality -- the clarity of the communication I
give and take.
How about you? Communicating
clearly? When you speak, do people “see” what you want them
to? Do they understand? Is your clarity of word and thought an
effective tool in your business and personal relationships? Or
could it be an “accident” waiting to happen?
If you haven’t at least
considered that possibility lately, it might not hurt to do some
soul searching – especially if things don’t seem to be going all
that well at the office…or at the dinner table. |
