Okay, you admit it. It’s over and you know he/she isn't coming back, ever. The depression phase is about extremes. Suddenly, life feels like it’s over. The sun has stopped shinning. You’re in a daze and the pain and agony are so overwhelming you cannot remember the last time you smiled. Your bad habits become amplified. If you smoke, you smoke more. If you drink, you now want to be drunk and you may eat constantly or not at all. Mostly, life is full of malaise and even routine tasks become drudgery, while work nearly impossible or an obsession.

When you finally admit it's over, the hardest part of grief begins, depression.
 

Signs You May be Experiencing Depression

• You have difficulty concentrating at work

• You prefer to sleep or watch TV rather than socialize or engage in your favorite past times.

• The terminals have taken over your thoughts. You think you’ll never find someone else, you’ll never fall in love, you’ll never_________.

• Suddenly, all of your faults are fatal

• Pain is real, dragging you down. You have no energy and speak with certain apathy and feel forever on the edge of crying

• Your emotions are exaggerated; when you laugh, you laugh a little too loud, smile a little too wide all so no one knows how you hurt inside.

• You avoid social situations and receive little joy when forced to attend .

• You work extended hours and weekends so you don't have to face friends, family or the pain you are trying to hide.

• When alone, you engage his/her memory in conversations, apologizing and begging him or her to take you back and give you one more chance.              

Depression can strike anyone and unless you have the courage to work through it, long-term results can be devastating. The most important idea to keep in mind in this stage is that "This too shall pass". The best medicine for depression is also the hardest to swallow because it is exactly what you do not want to do. So if you are now in the depression stage, try these ideas to move past it. TOP
 

Commit to a Pet!   It's the easiest relationship you will ever have.   Workout Not only will you feel better, but the next time you unexpectedly run into your ex you'll look better   Rediscover your friends. They are the people you use to hang out with.  Remember them?

Action Plan Tools for Moving Past Depression Pamper yourself silly (Men can do this too). Splurge on a full body massage, buy that new whatever you’ve been wanting but just haven’t bought. Get a facial, sign up for golf classes, go with the guys to Vegas or New Orleans or do anything else that will engage you. Realize this. If he or she was ‘One in a Million’ there are 21 other ‘One in a million’s’ in Southern California alone. Ask a close friend or family member to make a list of all of the reasons they enjoy and love you. Read it daily to remember who you really are. Exercise—start a regime now and think of how jealous he/she will be if they ever run into the new you Get out and be with your friends. Do not be afraid to tell them you are trying to get over your last love and that you need them to be patient with you because you may really  rather be alone.

• Seek support, whether through friends, support groups or professional psychologists, there is no shame in asking for help and it can make the entire distasteful ordeal go quicker and teach you a thing or two in the process. TOP

• Use words to Minimize the Effect. Instead of saying to yourself, "I'm miserable" say, "I'm a little off today".  Instead of "I'm so depressed" try, "I have had better days".  For "I miss her/him" try "I've completed another chapter of my life".

• Be Proactive and Start Researching: The fact that you are reading this article is an indication you are doing this. Use this time to analyze your relationship.  What worked and what didn't.  Start attending relationship seminars and workshops for singles.  Read books about behavior, psychology and communication.  Do this as a promise to yourself so that you hopefully will never have to go through this again because of an ended love relationship. TOP

A word of caution: Some experts recommend dating casually after a difficult break-up or the loss through death of a loved one. This can be a double-edge sword, especially if you are prone to rebounding. If you are in the depression stage, you are very vulnerable and likely to attach yourself to something familiar, this is called The Placebo Syndrome. This is neither fair to you nor the person you begin dating. In the end you are likely to resent the substitute because he/she is not your mate. Do yourself a favor, wait until you reach acceptance before dating again.

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Now that you've conquered the depression, get ready for a real wild ride in the next phase, Anger!