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I also grew to realize that developing good
relationships is a
skill, and as I looked around me, I noticed that
some people had more skill than others.
Since I greatly respect the power of education, I
decided to immerse myself in a study of relationships,
especially my relationship with Sharon. In learning
ways to fulfill her and eventually our
children, I learned that there is a bigger payoff in
giving love than getting it. When I loved
without caring whether or not I got it back¾when
I loved just for the sake of loving¾love
came back by itself.
Often in wonderful, unpredictable ways. Sharon grew too,
and proceeded to improve her own relationship skills. Our last fifteen
years together were the sweetest, coziest, most wonderful
experience¾the
stuff dreams are made of.
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Then she died and I didn’t.
If,
through death or divorce, you’ve lost a love like I have¾you’ve
experienced the demise of your old identity. You are now
pure potential¾yet
you wonder, “Who am I now? I’m not the kid who got married
years ago. I’m not always going to be the one who just
lost their mate. I need to know more about myself, and I’d
like another chance to be a good partner.”
To do that you’ll need to ask yourself a few questions.
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What’s going on in your life now?
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What parts do you want to change?
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What parts don’t you want to change?
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How do you go beyond what you had?
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What’s changed in the mating dance during
the years you’ve been out of circulation?
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How do you deal with the fear of making
changes?
There are
plenty of qualified partner candidates¾many
of them praying for someone who is right for them. You can
be an answer to those prayers by learning how to be the
right one. Do it, and you’ll see a miracle unfold.
In my upcoming columns let me offer you insight, analysis,
and a plan.
(Parts of this column have
been excerpted from Build a Better Spouse Trap. M.
Evans, Publisher.)
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