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Step One:
HOME ALONE:

Getting back into life
after the death,
(or loss) of your wife
by Ted Wentworth

Like so many men, when I first married I was very self-focused. I was “me,” and my wife Sharon was one of many “objects” I had acquired to fulfill me. As our relationship developed into a deep and genuine connection over the years, I realized that I was part of a “we”¾we were partners in each other’s lives.


Life is
either a
 daring adventure
 or nothing
.

¾ Helen Keller

I also grew to realize that developing good relationships is a skill, and as I looked around me, I noticed that some people had more skill than others. 

Since I greatly respect the power of education, I decided to immerse myself in a study of relationships, especially my relationship with Sharon. In learning ways to fulfill her and eventually our children, I learned that there is a bigger payoff in giving love than getting it. When I loved without caring whether or not I got it back¾when I loved just for the sake of loving¾love came back by itself.

Often in wonderful, unpredictable ways. Sharon grew too, and proceeded to improve her own relationship skills. Our last fifteen years together were the sweetest, coziest, most wonderful experience¾the stuff dreams are made of.   TOP

Then she died and I didn’t.

If, through death or divorce, you’ve lost a love like I have¾you’ve experienced the demise of your old identity. You are now pure potential¾yet you wonder, “Who am I now? I’m not the kid who got married years ago. I’m not always going to be the one who just lost their mate. I need to know more about myself, and I’d like another chance to be a good partner.”

To do that you’ll need to ask yourself a few questions.

  • What’s going on in your life now?

  • What parts do you want to change?

  • What parts don’t you want to change?

  • How do you go beyond what you had?

  • What’s changed in the mating dance during the years you’ve been out of circulation?

  •  How do you deal with the fear of making changes?

There are plenty of qualified partner candidates¾many of them praying for someone who is right for them. You can be an answer to those prayers by learning how to be the right one. Do it, and you’ll see a miracle unfold.

In my upcoming columns let me offer you insight, analysis, and a plan.

(Parts of this column have been excerpted from Build a Better Spouse Trap. M. Evans, Publisher.)


Ted's Articles follow the progression of preparing and finding Mrs. Right for you.  This is issue 1. To read the strategy from start to finish, click the following:
Step One | Step Two | Step Three | Step Four
Step Five | Step Six | Step Seven | Step Eight | Step Nine | Step Ten

 

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JUST FOR MEN

Build a Better Spouse Trap
by Ted Wentworth

Street-smart dating & relationship strategies for men who have lost a love

 

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