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To improve the odds of this woman you've defined in your mind
requires a sorting
strategy. When you’re a matched pair, you have found a
solid physical, intellectual, emotional, financial and sexual
match. The sex can be deeply intimate dream
sex that climaxes like a thunderstorm instead of a sneeze. Sex
that grows and deepens into the love you always thought
possible, love that’s completely fulfilling emotional
contentment. You don’t have to match all five of the magic
qualities to assure a great relationship … three or four is
enough.
First you have to find her. You can move quickly and
with less pain if you put sex on the back burner. Why? Because
sex distorts our judgment. Find out who she is. Does she have
the right stuff? You’re on a quest. Ask
questions and don’t talk so much about yourself. And if she’s
asking for information, don’t hold back. While you are
qualifying one another, keep your wits about you. Listen up
and read between the lines. What’s not said may be more
important than what is said. If you don’t find enough
in common to support at least three and better yet, four of
the magic items, you need to be moving on to find
Ms.-Right-for-you. Don’t be reluctant to look for her, she’s
out there! TOP
If you follow my suggestions in Chapter Three of Build a
Better Spouse Trap, you’ll learn how to get her resume without
her ever knowing what you are up to. You’ll have the skills to
get behind her “self portrait” quickly so you can figure out
if she is an important person in your life, and do it within
two or three dates.
She has three resumes; her physical resume, her emotional
resume, and her spiritual resume. Pages 37 to 49 in Build a
Better Spouse Trap (only 12 pages) quickly teach you the fine
points of what the information you find means. For instance,
are you looking for a beautiful woman or an attractive woman?
What does it mean if she is four years older or 15 years
younger than you? Does she have health considerations? If she
does, what do you think about that? What if she has more education, or
earns (or has) more money than you? Can she tell the truth?
Always? What if she can’t? Study up on these issues.
TOP
Once you have a decent match, how do you know she is the
right one? LISTEN: If you love her and who you are when you
are with her, you might not want to let this one get away. So
many times after the evening is over, you drive away not
liking yourself, you don’t like who you are when you’re with
her. You feel the relationship doesn’t bring out the best in
you. You are not yourself at least not “the self” you have
respected and liked in the past. Read about “The Green” on
page 50. Finding HER is an Olympian event. Skill and
knowledge count.
My next column will discuss her emotional resume and how it
can impact your life. And if you will check out
spousetrap.com
you will see that Rate-a-Date is now available online. I
invite you to check it out and give me feedback.
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