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Step Four:
THE RIGHT
STUFF!

You’re a man, you’re single, and you want the best of everything in a relationship, especially great sex. Single women want the same thing, yet they prioritize  differently than we do.  Women want the best of everything, especially a great romantic, deeply affectionate and sexy relationship.

 


Finding her requires a strategy and a game plan

To improve the odds of this woman you've defined in your mind requires a sorting strategy. When you’re a matched pair, you have found a solid physical, intellectual, emotional, financial and sexual match. The sex can be deeply intimate dream sex that climaxes like a thunderstorm instead of a sneeze. Sex that grows and deepens into the love you always thought possible, love that’s completely fulfilling emotional contentment. You don’t have to match all five of the magic qualities to assure a great relationship … three or four is enough.

First you have to find her. You can move quickly and with less pain if you put sex on the back burner. Why? Because sex distorts our judgment. Find out who she is. Does she have the right stuff? You’re on a quest. Ask questions and don’t talk so much about yourself. And if she’s asking for information, don’t hold back. While you are qualifying one another, keep your wits about you. Listen up and read between the lines. What’s not said may be more important than what is said. If you don’t find enough in common to support at least three and better yet, four of the magic items, you need to be moving on to find Ms.-Right-for-you. Don’t be reluctant to look for her, she’s out there! TOP

If you follow my suggestions in Chapter Three of Build a Better Spouse Trap, you’ll learn how to get her resume without her ever knowing what you are up to. You’ll have the skills to get behind her “self portrait” quickly so you can figure out if she is an important person in your life, and do it within two or three dates.

She has three resumes; her physical resume, her emotional resume, and her spiritual resume. Pages 37 to 49 in Build a Better Spouse Trap (only 12 pages) quickly teach you the fine points of what the information you find means. For instance, are you looking for a beautiful woman or an attractive woman?  What does it mean if she is four years older or 15 years younger than you? Does she have health considerations? If she does, what do you think about that? What if she has more education, or earns (or has) more money than you? Can she tell the truth? Always? What if she can’t? Study up on these issues. TOP

Once you have a decent match, how do you know she is the right one? LISTEN: If you love her and who you are when you are with her, you might not want to let this one get away. So many times after the evening is over, you drive away not liking yourself, you don’t like who you are when you’re with her. You feel the relationship doesn’t bring out the best in you. You are not yourself at least not “the self” you have respected and liked in the past.  Read about “The Green” on page 50.  Finding HER is an Olympian event. Skill and knowledge count.

My next column will discuss her emotional resume and how it can impact your life. And if you will check out spousetrap.com you will see that Rate-a-Date is now available online. I invite you to check it out and give me feedback.


Ted's Articles follow the progression of preparing and finding Mrs. Right for you.  This is issue 4. To read the strategy from start to finish, click the following:
Step One | Step Two | Step Three | Step Four
Step Five | Step Six | Step Seven | Step Eight | Step Nine | Step Ten

 
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JUST FOR MEN

Build a Better Spouse Trap
by Ted Wentworth

Street-smart dating & relationship strategies for men who have lost a love

 

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