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Minimizing
First Date Jitters!
(Yes, even 50-year old
CEO's, High Fashion Models and High Powered Executives get these.
You are not alone!) |
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Use this Check list to Keep
Your Date Fun!
Excerpted
from
The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again |
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1) Avoid Anxiety, Giddiness
Your first date is exciting and energizing. Have fun and enjoy
the moment, but be aware if you get too excited, anxious and
giddy, you might come on too strong. Don't let your anxiety
prevent your date from seeing the real you.
Remember this is just a first date, and don't get too far
ahead in your fantasies. This is a crucial time for learning
about this other person, so take your time and allow the
relationship to develop.
2) Be Charming
Don't underestimate how powerful your smile can be use it
often, make eye contact and keep the conversation flowing. Pay
attention to what interests you about your date, and show
interest in his or her opinions, experiences and activities.
Be complementary whenever possible, and respond intelligently
to whatever is said to you.
3) Have Fun Don't Get Too Heavy
Keep your date light and easy, and have a good time. Focus on
being pleasant, having fun, and not getting too far ahead of
the relationship, and you will be great company. Be careful
not to soliloquize don't talk too long about any one subject
without inviting a comment from your date. TOP
4) Keep Conversation Interesting,
Light, No Deep Secrets
You can talk about anything, including your personal lives,
past relationships and love in general, but don't be the one
who brings up the intimate topics first. Be wary of prying too
deeply into your date's private life and secrets, unless the
information is voluntarily offered.
5) Don't Talk Too Much about Yourself
Keep your focus on learning about your date and don't talk too
much about yourself. Dole out some information about you,
especially if it relates to what your date is saying, but
don't talk endlessly about your own life, opinions,
experiences or activities. Punctuate your conversation with
questions: "What do you think?" "Has it been that way for
you?" And *listen* to the answers. TOP
6) Pay Attention!!!
You Have Things to Learn Here!
The most important aspect of this date, in addition to having
a good time, is to get to know each other better. No matter
how excited, turned on or thrilled you may be about this date,
listening to what your date says, watching what your date does
and understanding how your date feels are still your primary
objectives.
7) What Your Date Thinks of You Is Not Your Business.
Your
Business Is:
What do You Think of Your Date?
One of the easiest ways to lose your objectivity and balance
in this is to worry about what your date thinks about you. If
you spend your time essentially trying to look at yourself
through your date's eyes, guessing what he or she is seeing
when looking at you, or hearing when listening to you, you'll
miss what's really happening. You're supposed to be evaluating
the *other* person, not pretending to look at yourself through
his or her eyes. Pay attention so you know what YOU think of
your date.
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Hopefully, because you've thought about the serious issues in
advance, you'll still be able to relax and have a good time so
good, that you decide to keep dating each other. Then, you'll
need a
whole new set of skills.
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